Tuesday, December 20, 2011



I just got married, and now I've moved, blog and all! I'm hoping to try and keep my new blog up to date here:

rudyandlouise@blogspot.com

Enjoy :)

Monday, May 2, 2011

Showers of Blessing

God is so good, and blesses in such abundance! I thank God for each of the special people that God has given in my life, right now this one in particular:



:)

(thank you Charlene for supplying the photo :))

Monday, March 14, 2011

World Rat Day 2010...

is coming soon! :)
April 4, 2011


Tuesday, March 1, 2011

I am fearfully and wonderfully made

For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.

Psalm 139:13-16


We make the choice to kill a human being when we make the choice to abort. Please consider the consequences... guilt, shame, confusion, depression... there is help! there are loving people who can help you through this difficult time in your life. Think. Pray. Consider well.

Check out the
Toronto


Letter to an Abortion Clinic



My heart breaks to think of the pain I’m going to give to the baby that is inside me... I checked the FAQs but found no questions that deal with the painful sensations that I'm sure will be felt by it when the procedure is performed. I’m now 12 weeks along… I was researching online (bad idea) and found out that inside me is a living person, complete with all the organisms that a person needs in order to live - including nerve endings.


Why don't I want this in me? well, I want to complete my MA, and after that I was planning to go and teach abroad... and travel around for a while and have fun, you know? this just doesn't fit into my plans.

But this person came into being because I made that choice to be with Mr. Nobody... which was probably a mistake in the first place... he's gone now.

The plans I have are all things that I would like to do. They’re all about me. What makes me happy. But my mom always tried to teach me to think about other people, how they feel, what they think. Am I wrong? Is it possible to be so saint-like, as my mom is?

What does this little person think about all this anyways? My research said that it has a brain. But it can't say anything yet (at least, nothing that we can hear).

Maybe she has something she would like to say... like, "Hi Mommy! I love you! thank you for not killing me, for not poisoning me with that methotrexate stuff earlier on…. And thanks again for not vacuuming my arms off, and then my legs, until there was nothing left! thank you so much! when I grow up, I want to have my own babies, so I can love them like you did."

Or maybe it's a little boy and he will one day say, "Mommy, I love you so much, and I will never leave you like Mr. Nobody left you. I’m going to be strong like you, and if I find a girl I’m going to get married and stick by her side. And I’m going to love our family even when it’s not easy."

Thank you for helping me think through this... I think I've made my decision.

I'm going to go ahead with it. Now that I know all there is to know and I've done all my research, I'm going to schedule my appointment to get rid of it. I don’t care how this thing got here, but it’s got to go because I’ve got other plans set on my life’s agenda.

After all, life is all about me, isn't it?



Thursday, June 24, 2010

A real woman...

(from the Rebelution)

I pray that I may be a woman who

  • is glad she’s a woman and rejoices in her femininity, expressing it through her attitude, appearance and bearing. (1 Timothy 2:9-10)
  • does not compete for equality with men or chafe at God’s design for male and female, but delights in and understands the importance of her calling to complement man’s role. (1 Timothy 2:11-12, Ephesians 5:22-24)
  • values the cultivation of her mind and diligently seeks after wisdom and knowledge. (Proverbs 22:17-21, 2:2-6)

With God’s help, may I become a woman who

  • realizes her imperative need to allow the Holy Spirit to control her emotions and expressions of them. (James 1:19-20)
  • does not wallow in self-pity or make a habit of voicing complaints, but radiates cheerfulness and joy. (Proverbs 15:15, Proverbs 17:22)
  • appreciates her mother’s (&family’s) protection, and respects and submits to her authority. In so doing, she is preparing herself to exercise the Biblical role in her relationship with a possible future husband. (Ephesians 5:33-6:3, 1 Peter 3:1-2)

 

May I be a woman who

  • is trustworthy and gains the respect of those around her. (Proverbs 31:11)
  • restrains herself from listening to, or participating in gossip, but instead speaks with wisdom and discretion. (Proverbs 11:12-13, 22, 20:19, 3:11)

 

May I be one who

  • constantly encourages and builds up those around her instead of criticizing and tearing them down. (1 Thessalonians 5:11, Ephesians 4:29)
  • does not have a nagging, contentious or manipulative manner in which she deals with others. (Judges 16:16, Proverbs 21:9, 19, 26:21)
  • is not boisterous or loud in her speech or actions but is characterized by a gentle and quiet spirit. (Proverbs 9:13, 1 Peter 3:4)

 

By God’s grace, may I be one who

  • portrays chastity, modesty and reverence in her manner, and wears the ornament of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is her true beauty. (1 Peter 3:3-4, Titus 2:4-5)
  • is not offended by respect shown her through gentlemanly courtesies (opening doors, etc.) but cultivates the differences between the sexes that make her worthy of this deference. (1 Peter 3:7, Mark 10:6)


Father in heaven, may I be a woman who

  • does not relate to members of the opposite sex in a flirtatious or forward manner, but instead saves all her passion for her future husband. (Thessalonians 4:3-8, Proverbs 6:25, 1 Corinthians 7:1)
  • holds her virginity before marriage sacred and will not compromise it for anything. (1 Timothy 5:22)

 

Lord Jesus, I pray that I will seek to make You my number one desire and the Lover of my soul.  I know that only You can fully satisfy. (Psalm 73:25, Psalm 63:1) May I use my years of singleness to seek and serve You without distraction. May I be content to leave the details of my future to You. (Psalm 73:25, Philippians 4:11)

 

God give me the grace and power to be a woman after His own heart, that I may serve Him first of all in all I do, and that I may in turn be a servant to those around me, modeling the behaviour of my Lord Jesus Christ.  Father, let me not be discouraged by my many failures, but trust in Your forgiveness and grace to cover my sins, to pick me up when I fall, to bring me back when I stray. 



Find a PDF of this list here.  

Monday, June 21, 2010

A real man...

A dear brother in the Lord recently shared with me the following insights from a blog called "the Rebelution." On the blog there's a list of qualities of "A real man".  It is my prayer that God will lead and direct me to one such man who strives for these qualities, whose first desire is to praise and honour the Lord in all he does and says.  This list is pretty intense - and yet the life of a Christian is not meant to be soft and cushy; the way is hard and narrow, and it takes much hard work, perseverance, and dependence on Jesus to stay on it.     

 

So here it is, "A real man" by The Rebelution.  I've made it a prayer, and will continue to pray this prayer both for my future husband, should the Lord ever bless me in this way, and also for all the young men of our churches and youth groups.  May God work in their lives to bring up a generation of men eager to serve Him and lead His people in spreading the good news of salvation to all who are yet lost.  It all begins with a simple heart change, and with a hunger and thirst for the knowledge and fear of the Lord!  

 

 

I pray that my future husband will...

  • understand and live according to the basic purposes for which he was created: to worship, honor, and serve God. (Romans 12:1-2)
  • value and carefully handle the scriptures. (2 Timothy 2:15)
  • not pride himself on being knowledgeable in the sinful ways of the world. (1 John 2:15-16, James 4:4, Philippians 4:8)
  • not be embarrassed to worship God and pray in a group setting. (Mark 8:38)

 

I pray that my future husband will

  • be wise, yet humble. (Proverbs 2:1-10, 1 Peter 5:5, Romans 12:16)
  • that he will take leadership in a self-sacrificing way. (Ephesians 5:25-28)
  • be kind because, “What is desirable in man is his kindness” (Proverbs 19:22)
  • not try to prove himself but simply be confident as he walks in the fear of the Lord. (Proverbs 14:26-27)

I pray that my future husband will...

  • not put others down with his actions, attitude, words, or his strength. But on the contrary, affirm and build others up (Proverbs 15:4, Ephesians 4:29)
  • treat his sisters and mother with as much respect as he would treat a prospective wife. (Matthew 25:21)
  • not only respect but appreciate a young lady’s purity and innocence. In our culture innocence isn’t retained by accident. (2 Corinthians 11:2-3)
  • value his purity as much as he values a young lady’s purity. I pray that he may not be ashamed to live and act differently from the world in order to guard himself. (1 Thessalonians 4:1-8, Ecclesiastes 7:26)

 

I pray that my future husband will...

  • be able to look a girl straight in the eye without communicating any impurity. (Proverbs 20:11)
  • not be ashamed to identify himself with his family (Ephesians 6:2-3)
  • that he be a gentleman, polite and showing women honor in everyday things such as opening doors, etc. (1 Peter 3:7)
  • that he have no desire to be gross in order to impress other men. He better not burp!  Or swear, or tell disgusting stories. (Proverbs 13:5, Ephesians 5:4)

 

I pray that my future husband will...

  • show by his actions that he loves children. (Matthew 19:13-14)
  • that he will be pleasant and express joy rather than feeling that it’s masculine to be sullen. (Proverbs 21:29, 1 Thessalonians 5:16)
  • that he won’t blame others for his own problems but will embrace responsibility. (Proverbs 12:27)
  • that he will be able to accept correction (Proverbs 12:1, Proverbs 29:1)

 

 

I pray that my future husband will...

  • be mature in his emotions and his expressions of them. That he will be able to deal with the trials of life logically, with wisdom, not on a basis of emotional instability. (Proverbs 14:29, Proverbs 17:27, Proverbs 12:18)
  • that he will understand the value of work and is financially responsible. (Colossians 3:23-24, 2 Thessalonians 3:10-12, Luke 16:10-11)
  • that he be able to express himself with intelligent words rather than using “street talk”. (Proverbs 17:20, Titus 2:6-8, 1 Peter 4:11, Ephesians 4:29)

 Find a PDF of this list here.

_______________________

 

Lord God of heaven, I pray that your name will be lifted high as men pattern their lives after your Son’s example, in dependence on the Holy Spirit.   I pray that this list will inspire men to reach ever higher, to "aim for the stars" in Godliness and zeal for the Jesus of the Bible who has given His life for His people.  

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Ashleigh's Soccer Game

Ashleigh's team won the game 4-1! GO ASHLEIGH GO! :)   Apparently she didn't hear me cheering at all... but if she had she would have been embarrassed anyways :) 





hi-fiving the other team... and then we celebrated with a snack at Timmy's :) 



It was a fun night, despite that it was FREEZING cold and windy!  felt like October! Ashleigh played really well, what a great improvement from before, when she would run away from the ball ;)  she's a very sweet niece - I don't value her relationship as much as I should.  Nights like this one show me just how special it is to spend time with family and get into each others' lives.  How many Aunties get to live with their nieces and nephews and know them as well as I do?  yet how often I don't take advantage of this special situation... anyways, to sum it up, I had a great night with your daughter Kev & Carole! :)    


for Kevin & Carole :)

Kevin & Carole, I know you're enjoying yourselves in Europe, but I also also how much you miss your little sweeties here at home.... so this is for you :) 

I was in the nursery at church this afternoon... Jaden and Anjali were playing so cute together :) 



Some memories from the past couple of weeks:
- Louise: "Mom, can I watch the kids for you for a while? go read a book or relax or something"
  Mom: "no, I'm not taking my eyes off these little ones till their mommy and daddy come home!"  honestly she won't let me give her a break... 
- playing freeze tag, snake, frog, etc on the trampoline
- laying on the trampoline, finding pictures in the clouds (my way of conning them into taking a break :))
- stepping on crumbs and cheerios on the kitchen floor 
- toys, toys, toys all over the place
- viewing the living room not as a living room, but as a jungle gym 
- listening to Josh's baby talk, which is starting to sound more and more like actual words 
- taking Ashleigh to soccer
- loving the love that I see between Mom and the kids


Tomorrow night I'll be taking the kids to soccer, and there's also some sort of summer celebration happening at my karate class which I'd like to take them to beforehand (there's ice cream and fun stuff for kids).   Mom's plan has been to keep them so busy that they won't be missing their mommy and daddy... and so far it's worked, although Ashleigh does still miss you guys.  Mom asked her what she preferred: to go to the airport to pick you up, or to go to the church picnic with all her friends, and without a doubt she wanted to see you guys!  

So come home soon and safe!  :)  God bless, and can't wait to see you again!




Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Motorcycle Pros and Cons

It's not the most practical mode of transportation, that's for sure... I've had to get used to messed up hair & makeup, and not wearing skirts, and not overpacking (a great feat indeed), not taking the whole house with me when I go places (something I am prone to do)... Taking multiple passengers is also more difficult, as is shopping (but maybe that's a good thing)... And, contrary to popular belief, the notion has crossed my mind that a motorcycle is not as safe a mode of transportation as, say, a car... or a hummer. However I beg to disagree with this statement. The safety of the rider depends on the skill level of the rider of the bike. Defensive riding is key to survival on a bike. A motorcycle has many more escape routes than a car or hummer or truck would. A motorcycle also is much more easily maneuverable. It is also much quicker to stop, or speed out of a tense situation.

However as unpractical as it is at times, it's very economical. Besides being unbelievable on gas, I save even more money when I go shopping - I don't even go anymore, since I have little means of taking home my purchases! I thought it was supposed to be a good thing to "live more with less"... isn't it? :)

One last point: the greatest thing about riding a bike is not the economicality of it. No, far from it. It is the flurry of excitement, the rush of adrenaline, the wind streaming through your hair, the beauty of the open road ahead and the great skies above, the anticipation of what's around the next corner, the exhilaration of pushing one's limits and testing one's skills.... I can't quite explain what it is that is so exhilarating, but that's just it - it's exhilarating!

I hope my skeptics can get a glimpse of what goes on in my mind when I say that I love to ride. I don't think I'll be ridinig forever - actually, I might even have to cut this season short, as it's a pretty expensive thing to keep up... but one day I hope to take it up again.

To my fellow riders:

Keep the rubber side down :)

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Five Principles For Enhancing Your Beauty


Ah, how us girls can get carried away with our outward appearance.... (some guys too maybe? ;)) These simple points are good reminders to have close by our closets and washroom mirrors.

1. How I look must be a testimony to unbelievers.
2. How I look must show reverence to my God.
3. How I look must not draw attention to myself.
4. My beauty must be the hidden person of the heart.
5. My beauty must be a gentle and quiet spirit.
-- anonymous

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The Road Not Taken


Robert Frost (1874-1963)

The Road Not Taken


Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

A new year

Let's welcome in 2010!

Once again everyone discusses their new years resolutions.... once again people work at implementing them (at least for the first month! :)). We continue planning activities, vacations, work, school, events, trips, and the thousand other nameless little things that make up our days, weeks, and months.

What changes will happen, what joys will we experience, what sorrows will we face? Each year brings its own trials and hardships, some years with more than others.... as I look back over 2009, I praise God for having brought me through another year, though it was not the easiest of years. I learned more of what it is to trust God, to love Him, to be content in all things, to live in His strength. God promises to be with us wherever we are, to comfort us at all times, to strengthen us when we’re weak. And He does fulfill those promises.


I pray that in 2010 I will continue to rest in my Saviour, to be complete in Him, and to not spurn His love for me... whether this year is full of blessing and joy, or whether it is full of sorrow or heartbreak, may my heart’s prayer be “Yes, Lord. You are enough! Your mercy extends to the heavens, your love is more than I can ever comprehend. You will once again bring me through.” By God’s grace I pray I may grow into the kind of woman whom Jesus will not be ashamed to call home to heaven, to claim as His own, a specially chosen bride, called by His name, lovely in His beauty, saved by His grace.


I pray also that those who read this blog (that is, if there are even any who read it! :)) will also bow the knee to their Savior Jesus Christ, that they may be saved through Him... and if they are there already, that they will also learn from Him and not be ashamed to fulfill their calling as disciples of Christ.


I had the pleasure of writing this while sitting in the most beautiful of places... tropical plants rise all around; stone paths meander among the countless trees, flowers and shrubs; dew clings to the walls; flowers in full bloom are bursting with beauty - only the hand of a magnificent Creator God like ours could create such beauty as this! What a neat place to rest my soul, to feel God's presence, to think upon His beauty and majesty and goodness. I came here anxious, disturbed, busy with the cares of the world; yet now I leave at peace, resting in the calm assurance that I can find only in Him.








(I took these pictures at a Toronto gardens greenhouse close to the corner of Jarvis & Gerrard)

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

SURPRIZE!!!

January 29, 2009: Mom's 57th birthday :)

Mom's surprise birthday party was a definite success!!!!! it was so much fun surprising her! The evening before her birthday I wrote her a card with a coupon for 2 free breakfasts at Cora's breakfast... We arranged to have the flowers ready and waiting on the table for us when we came, so when Mom said to the waitress in her cute way: "it's my birthday today, and my daughter's taking me for breakfast!" the waitress replied, "I know... I think the whole restaurant knows it's your birthday!" :) Mom nearly fell over backwards when she said that, and saw the flowers :)
Carole and I worked late last night when Mom went to bed to get everything ready, so when we came back from breakfast, everyone was there waiting! she was so surprised she teared up... she loved it though :) all day she's been saying how wonderful her birthday was, how much she loved every moment of it!

Thank you to everyone who came for the tea party - it was late notice, and we're so thankful that each of you could have made it out. She's such a special person, and we all thank God so much for her example of love, humility, and hospitality to everyone.


my new nephew David and his dear mommy, my sister!





Thursday, October 29, 2009

I never saw a moor

I never saw a moor,
I never saw the sea;
Yet I know how the heather looks,
And what a wave must be.
I never spoke with God,
Nor visited in heaven;
Yet certain am I of the spot
As if the chart were given.

-- Emily Dickinson
Part Four: Time and Eternity , XVII

Monday, September 21, 2009

Ashleigh's Soccer Games

This year Kevin & Carole decided to put Ashleigh on a soccer team... at first she would run away from the ball, but thankfully by the end of the season she had greatly improved, and was becoming quite the seasoned soccer player by the time the season was over! :)  


Ashleigh's loyal fans - who were often more interested in the candies and chips than in the game itself :)  it got pretty chilly towards the end of the season... 


GO ASHLEIGH! :)

date with the girls :)

The other weekend Rachel, Maria, Sharon and I had a wonderful time minigolfing together... sisters with sisters :) we had a great time! all of us were pretty much evenly matched, each of us being way over par :) maybe that's why my nose is all wrinkled in this picture, hehe



Maria was quite the pro - her first time mini-golfing, and she got 2nd place!







Thanks for coming out with me Rachel & Maria! :)
we're still missing the other half of our date - don't let me forget it!



Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Eternal glories gleam afar, to nerve my faint endeavour

This life of ours on earth is but a preparatory one... You are tired and weary and you feel at times it is too much for you? Go back and look at your life and put it into the context of eternity. Stop and ask yourself what it all means. It is nothing but a preparatory school. This is but the antechamber of eternity and all we do in this world is but anticipatory of that. Our greatest joys are but the first fruits and the foretaste of the eternal joy that is coming.... It is the sheer grind of daily life that gets us down.... But the answer is to look at it all and to put it all into its great context and to say, 'We are going on to eternity and this is but the prepareatory school'. What a difference that makes...

'The world is too much with us,' that is our trouble. We are too immersed in our problems. We need to look ahead, to anticipate, to look forward to the eternal glories gleaming afar. The Christian life is a tasting of the firstfruits of that great harvest which is to come. 'Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God hath prepared for them that lov e HIm'.... Realize something in mind and heart of the glory of the place to which you are going. That is the antidote, that is the cure. The harvest we shall reap is certain, it is sure. 'Therefore,' says Paul to the Corinthians, 'be steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord'. Go on with your task whatever your feelings; keep on with your work. God will give the increase, He will send the rain of His gracious mercies as we need it. Thre will be an abundant harvest. Look forward to it. 'Ye sahll reap.'

First Book of Daily Readings, exercpted from Spiritual Depression, pp200-1. M. L. Jones

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

My Wedding Day??? (family, watch out!)

hehe I could never keep a secret like this -
but it's a great idea! :)
it'd probably be so much fun too! :)
it might be the closest I ever get to the real thing :)


http://www.cbc.ca/canada/prince-edward-island/story/2009/08/12/pei-inflatable-groom-reunion.html

Saturday, July 25, 2009

I am blessed

Last winter I took up singing in Leendert Kooy's choir (the OMCA concerts). It was such a blessing to sing praises and have fun times and fellowship with people of all ages. One of the song arrangements we learned was especially an encouragement to me both during that time and still now. It has reminded me time and again to bless the Lord, even when I least feel like it.

I am blessed.

Thru sunshine and rain, even sorrow and pain,
Jesus is my comfort and my guide;
For His love for me and His grace has set me free,
And some day I shall stand by His side!

(chorus)
I am blessed, I am blessed!
Every day that I'm living I am blessed!
When I wake up in the morning till I lay my head to rest,
I am blessed, I am blessed...

I've shoes for my feet, I have plenty to eat,
And a home in heaven by and by.
And through my new birth, brothers sisters here on earth,
We shall share in that home beyond the sky!


.... ..... .....


He gives you more grace when the burdens grow greater,
He sends you more strength when the labours increase;
To added affliction He's adding His mercy;
To multiplied trials He multiplies peace...

(chorus)
His love has no limit, His grace has no measure;
His power has no boundary known unto men.
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus,
He's giving, and giving, and giving again!

And when we've exhausted our store of endurance,
Our strength may have failed ere the day is half done.
When reaching the end of our human resources,
Our Father's full giving is only begun.


Sunday, July 5, 2009

my first bike: Ninja 500

I recently bought something that I had always dreamed of, ever since I was a child... 
a motorcycle! :)

... part of me still can't believe it's actually sitting in the driveway! 


It's such a fun way to get around, and it's already starting to feel quite normal... which is a good thing I suppose. I've had a couple of close calls, but nothing too scary yet.  I've learned a lot about defensive driving, learning to read other drivers and stay out of their way.

Some people would say that I'm crazy to have such a hobby as this... but is it really?  I've always openly admired motorcycles, loved looking at them, dreamt of riding one, and now the day has come... 

and it's great :) 



Visit with Steve & Amy in Woodstock!

Several weeks ago I had the privilege of helping Steve & Amy move their things into their summer internship home in Woodstock. What a huge house for such a small family! :) It was so nice to visit and spend some quality time with them! it's wonderful to have them so close for the summer!




Church Pinic 2009!

I don't have very many pictures of this event, but it sure was fun! Thanks to all the organizers!  you all must have put a lot of work into it to make it a fun day! others have posted pictures, but I didn't have my camera along, too bad...

What a beautiful day it turned out to be, with the sun shining and blue skies!  We played several fun team games with everyone of all ages helping each other... I think our team got last place :) "and the last shall be first" but we didn't get a prize :) 

This year they had their first (annual?) Dessert Queen Contest.... and guess who was the unlikely winner? me! bewildering thought, eh? :) maybe I've inherited some of Mom's talent after all!   Mom was runner up, along with Laura A.

It's such a blessing to be part of the family of God, to be part of the church community, sharing time and fellowship and food and games together, being with one another not just on these fun filled days, but most especially throughout the year.  We need more of that beautiful caring relationship among the Church today. I'm thankful for the gift of my church family, and pray that we may be an example to the other churches, and a light to the world, shining God's precious love, drawing them in.  


pick up your cross

"Jesus invites us to be his disciples. If we choose to accept his loving invitation, we must understand that there are certain conditions to be fulfilled. One of them is a willingness to accept the cross. Is this a once-for-all taking up of one particular burden? I don't think so. It seems to me that my "cross" is each particular occasion when I am given the chance to "die" - that is, to offer up my own will whenever it crosses Christ's. This happens very often. A disagreement with my husband can cause an argument and harsh words, even if the matter is ridiculously small - "When are you going to get that dashboard light fixed in the car?" I have already mentioned the light three times. It may be time to keep my mouth shut, but I don't want to keep my mouth shut. Here, then, is a chance to die. A decision which affects both of us may be a fairly big one, but we find ourselves on two sides of the fence. One of us, then, must "die". It is never easy for me. Shall I make excuses for myself (that's the way I am; it's my personality; it's the way I was raised; I'm tired; I can't hack it; it doesn't turn me on; you don't understand) or shall I pick up this cross?

"Perhaps my illustration seems to trivialize the cross of Christ. His was so unimaginably greater. What cross could I possibly take up which would be so analogous? Just here is the lesson for me: when Jesus took up his cross, Hewas saying yes with all his being to the will of the Father. If I am unwilling to say yes in even a very little thing, how shall I accept a more painful thing? What sort of practice does it take for a disciple to learn to follow the Crucified? A friend hurts us, a plan gooes awry, an effort fails - small things indeed. But then cancer strikes, a daughter marries unwisely, a business folds, a wife abandons her home and family. The call still comes to us: Take up your cross and come with Me. With You, Lord? Yes, with Me. Will You give me strength and show me the way? That was My promise - is it My custom to break promises?"

Elizabeth Elliot, A Lamp for My Feet