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I just got married, and now I've moved, blog and all! I'm hoping to try and keep my new blog up to date here:
rudyandlouise@blogspot.com
Enjoy :)
This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I hope in Him!" Lamentations 3:21-24
My heart breaks to think of the pain I’m going to give to the baby that is inside me... I checked the FAQs but found no questions that deal with the painful sensations that I'm sure will be felt by it when the procedure is performed. I’m now 12 weeks along… I was researching online (bad idea) and found out that inside me is a living person, complete with all the organisms that a person needs in order to live - including nerve endings.
Why don't I want this in me? well, I want to complete my MA, and after that I was planning to go and teach abroad... and travel around for a while and have fun, you know? this just doesn't fit into my plans.
But this person came into being because I made that choice to be with Mr. Nobody... which was probably a mistake in the first place... he's gone now.
The plans I have are all things that I would like to do. They’re all about me. What makes me happy. But my mom always tried to teach me to think about other people, how they feel, what they think. Am I wrong? Is it possible to be so saint-like, as my mom is?
What does this little person think about all this anyways? My research said that it has a brain. But it can't say anything yet (at least, nothing that we can hear).
Maybe she has something she would like to say... like, "Hi Mommy! I love you! thank you for not killing me, for not poisoning me with that methotrexate stuff earlier on…. And thanks again for not vacuuming my arms off, and then my legs, until there was nothing left! thank you so much! when I grow up, I want to have my own babies, so I can love them like you did."
Or maybe it's a little boy and he will one day say, "Mommy, I love you so much, and I will never leave you like Mr. Nobody left you. I’m going to be strong like you, and if I find a girl I’m going to get married and stick by her side. And I’m going to love our family even when it’s not easy."
Thank you for helping me think through this... I think I've made my decision.
I'm going to go ahead with it. Now that I know all there is to know and I've done all my research, I'm going to schedule my appointment to get rid of it. I don’t care how this thing got here, but it’s got to go because I’ve got other plans set on my life’s agenda.
After all, life is all about me, isn't it?
(from the Rebelution)
I pray that I may be a woman who
With God’s help, may I become a woman who
May I be a woman who
May I be one who
By God’s grace, may I be one who
Father in heaven, may I be a woman who
Lord Jesus, I pray that I will seek to make You my number one desire and the Lover of my soul. I know that only You can fully satisfy. (Psalm 73:25, Psalm 63:1) May I use my years of singleness to seek and serve You without distraction. May I be content to leave the details of my future to You. (Psalm 73:25, Philippians 4:11)
God give me the grace and power to be a woman after His own heart, that I may serve Him first of all in all I do, and that I may in turn be a servant to those around me, modeling the behaviour of my Lord Jesus Christ. Father, let me not be discouraged by my many failures, but trust in Your forgiveness and grace to cover my sins, to pick me up when I fall, to bring me back when I stray.
A dear brother in the Lord recently shared with me the following insights from a blog called "the Rebelution." On the blog there's a list of qualities of "A real man". It is my prayer that God will lead and direct me to one such man who strives for these qualities, whose first desire is to praise and honour the Lord in all he does and says. This list is pretty intense - and yet the life of a Christian is not meant to be soft and cushy; the way is hard and narrow, and it takes much hard work, perseverance, and dependence on Jesus to stay on it.
So here it is, "A real man" by The Rebelution. I've made it a prayer, and will continue to pray this prayer both for my future husband, should the Lord ever bless me in this way, and also for all the young men of our churches and youth groups. May God work in their lives to bring up a generation of men eager to serve Him and lead His people in spreading the good news of salvation to all who are yet lost. It all begins with a simple heart change, and with a hunger and thirst for the knowledge and fear of the Lord!
I pray that my future husband will...
I pray that my future husband will
I pray that my future husband will...
I pray that my future husband will...
I pray that my future husband will...
I pray that my future husband will...
_______________________
Lord God of heaven, I pray that your name will be lifted high as men pattern their lives after your Son’s example, in dependence on the Holy Spirit. I pray that this list will inspire men to reach ever higher, to "aim for the stars" in Godliness and zeal for the Jesus of the Bible who has given His life for His people.
It's not the most practical mode of transportation, that's for sure... I've had to get used to messed up hair & makeup, and not wearing skirts, and not overpacking (a great feat indeed), not taking the whole house with me when I go places (something I am prone to do)... Taking multiple passengers is also more difficult, as is shopping (but maybe that's a good thing)... And, contrary to popular belief, the notion has crossed my mind that a motorcycle is not as safe a mode of transportation as, say, a car... or a hummer. However I beg to disagree with this statement. The safety of the rider depends on the skill level of the rider of the bike. Defensive riding is key to survival on a bike. A motorcycle has many more escape routes than a car or hummer or truck would. A motorcycle also is much more easily maneuverable. It is also much quicker to stop, or speed out of a tense situation.
However as unpractical as it is at times, it's very economical. Besides being unbelievable on gas, I save even more money when I go shopping - I don't even go anymore, since I have little means of taking home my purchases! I thought it was supposed to be a good thing to "live more with less"... isn't it? :)
One last point: the greatest thing about riding a bike is not the economicality of it. No, far from it. It is the flurry of excitement, the rush of adrenaline, the wind streaming through your hair, the beauty of the open road ahead and the great skies above, the anticipation of what's around the next corner, the exhilaration of pushing one's limits and testing one's skills.... I can't quite explain what it is that is so exhilarating, but that's just it - it's exhilarating!
I hope my skeptics can get a glimpse of what goes on in my mind when I say that I love to ride. I don't think I'll be ridinig forever - actually, I might even have to cut this season short, as it's a pretty expensive thing to keep up... but one day I hope to take it up again.
To my fellow riders:
Keep the rubber side down :)
What changes will happen, what joys will we experience, what sorrows will we face? Each year brings its own trials and hardships, some years with more than others.... as I look back over 2009, I praise God for having brought me through another year, though it was not the easiest of years. I learned more of what it is to trust God, to love Him, to be content in all things, to live in His strength. God promises to be with us wherever we are, to comfort us at all times, to strengthen us when we’re weak. And He does fulfill those promises.
I had the pleasure of writing this while sitting in the most beautiful of places... tropical plants rise all around; stone paths meander among the countless trees, flowers and shrubs; dew clings to the walls; flowers in full bloom are bursting with beauty - only the hand of a magnificent Creator God like ours could create such beauty as this! What a neat place to rest my soul, to feel God's presence, to think upon His beauty and majesty and goodness. I came here anxious, disturbed, busy with the cares of the world; yet now I leave at peace, resting in the calm assurance that I can find only in Him.